A clown fish that lives in a sea anemone is a perfect example of symbiosis. Each species lives and thrives because of the other. The clown fish needs the protection and housing that a sea anemone provides, while the sea anemone needs the clown fish to eat the deadly invertebrates that reside in the sea anemone.Without one or the other, neither would thrive. Like the sea anemone and the clown fish, successful couples thrive on relating to each other in a mutually beneficial way.
However, when it comes to parenting, a symbiotic relationship is not a healthy thing. This is when the parent lives vicariously through their children, craving what they themselves have not achieved. How many stage mums do we see pushing their kids to the limit, not caring whether the child is happy, merely wanting to bask in the glory of their child’s success. Or the parent on the sports field who is not there to encourage, but there to see their child WIN!
I loved, celebrated and have been extremely proud of each achievement of my two boys ( and happily, there have been many) but I have always told them to do what makes them happy. If they really wanted to be a garbage collector, I would certainly try and talk them into following another career path, but at the end of the day, it’s their life and not my choice. If collecting garbage was a passion and made them happy, then ultimately I would put a peg on the end of my nose and fully support them! We all have our own lives to live; I will definitely guide and offer advice to my kids but I will never dictate!
( Heaven help me if they have wives I don’t like!)
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